I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Randomize
