Tell her she can't have a vagina
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I looked at my own cervix.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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