he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize