Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
My friends, they love my intelligence
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
