One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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