it hurts more in the daytime
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Randomize
