you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
