you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
