Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(336): View more from North Carolina

walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.

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(336): walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life. http://tfl.nu/o34i

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me

(617): View more from Massachusetts

What? You're not speaking real words.

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(423): I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me (617): What? You're not speaking real words. http://tfl.nu/o2go

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(785): View more from Kansas

Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?

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(785): Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them? http://tfl.nu/f0lg

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(627): View more from California

his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.

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(627): his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting. http://tfl.nu/tvd6

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(317): View more from Indiana

Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true

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(317): Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true http://tfl.nu/12zv

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(954): View more from Florida

God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.

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(954): God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through. http://tfl.nu/ylm6

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(815): View more from Illinois

I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.

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(815): I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off. http://tfl.nu/09ia

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(517): View more from Michigan

woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.

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(517): woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner. http://tfl.nu/lvfr

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(469): View more from Texas

FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.

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(469): FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES. http://tfl.nu/zom1

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(845): View more from New York

she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave

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(845): she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave http://tfl.nu/ylty

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(615): View more from Tennessee

It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.

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(615): It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying. http://tfl.nu/pvsa

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(501): View more from Arkansas

He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.

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(501): He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship. http://tfl.nu/bk2a

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(614): View more from Ohio

He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?

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(614): He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual? http://tfl.nu/dfsm

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(402): View more from Nebraska

What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?

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(402): What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something? http://tfl.nu/b3em

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(530): View more from California

Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me

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(530): Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me http://tfl.nu/1ycp

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