worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I have post one night stand depression
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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