i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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