I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
