Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
