he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
