I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
