hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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