I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
3pm strippers are depressing
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
