Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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