he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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