You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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