She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
