I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
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