i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
