On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
