it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
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