You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
