I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Someone shit on the floor
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
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