Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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