OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
