i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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