Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
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I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
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