I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
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