i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
