their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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