So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
