i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
soo... how was my night?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
