Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
