he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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