STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Everything about him screamed your future.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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