Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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