Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
