Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
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