we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
