Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
