hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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