That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
