how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Randomize
