i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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