I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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