just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
