Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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