I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
