do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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