I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
