I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize