I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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