took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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