***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
