I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
