im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
