you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
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