who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
So many bounce houses so little time
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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