Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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