So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
