Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
