drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
They took my balls.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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